Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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