dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
