I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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