I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We need a shit load of segways right now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
