did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
