Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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