Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
