she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
