I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
