just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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