yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
