Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
