Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
