these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
