Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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