He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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