Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
