It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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