i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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