You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I want to fling myself into the sun
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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