She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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