I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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