She said her name was "party"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
