my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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