Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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