It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
even my farts smell like vagina
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
