I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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