The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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