xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
