don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
