Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
vagina is talking i cant
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
