Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
