he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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