I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
