Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
