I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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