can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
