STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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