Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Bring me that man meat
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
