Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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