oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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