so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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