For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
