porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize