When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
