i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
