Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well I just put wine in my tea
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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