There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
