my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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