I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just cropdusted the office
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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