That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize