You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
