If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
