we're chasing vodka with high fives
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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