just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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