What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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