From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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