Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
