Me. At least after what I've been through.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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