I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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