there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
