I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
