i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
